One of the most important things to learn in life is the wisdom of compromise. Many people find it hard to compromise because they believe that when they give in, they will end up as the loser who does not get what they want. However, compromise is not about losing. It is about having the understanding and deciding that others have just about as much right as you, to have a happy ending.
Why Do We Need To Compromise?
Compromise is needed when two or more parties have to resolve conflict peacefully. When we compromise, we are thinking and doing for the good of many, and the happiness of many. It helps us to cultivate awareness not only in our self but of others and teaches us to be humble in self-importance.
- Compromise makes conflicts much easier to resolve.
- It is a form of co-operation that fosters amicable ending to conflicts.
- It provides a mutual win-win solution where everyone gets some of what they want.
- It sustains long-lasting harmonious relationships.
The Wisdom of Compromise?
However, in deciding to give in or not, we need to recognise the difference between healthy and unhealthy comprises.
A healthy compromise benefits all parties involved and does not contest your safety and core values. On the other hand, an unhealthy compromise happens when it is one-sided (one completely giving in and the other taking all), and involves giving up your integrity and/or changing core values. Unhealthy compromise often results in resentment and loss of your authentic best self.
As Mahatma Gandhi said
“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take”
The Art Of Healthy Compromise!
The art of healthy compromise is in giving and taking with a dash of love, peace and empathy. It means that even though everyone loses a little something, at the same time, everyone also gains a little something where everyone benefits and can be happy with the final outcome.
So here goes 6 steps to cultivating the art of healthy compromise:
- Identify the root cause of the conflict.
- Understand where each other is coming from. Listen to each other’s points and see the view from each other’s perspectives.
- Workaround the differences with the common goal in mind to come up with an agreeable outcome/result for all concerned.
- Be willing to bend a little. Try to look at the conflict impartially and see which ideas, needs, and values are important and which you feel are more flexible to relent.
- Be willing to give up something to gain something greater for everyone.
- Value your relationship more than your ego. Let go of the self-importance and pride that hinder a good outcome.
Having to compromise is sometimes one of the toughest tasks in our lives. However, when we allow ourselves to compromise, it is a virtue that brings out our compassion, negotiation skills, and opens our mind to different perspectives around us. Being able to compromise healthily and positively bridges the gap between what we want and what others want. Practising the wisdom of compromise will boost harmony and happiness with the people around us, including ourselves.